לבבות (Hearts)

in literature it seems that you have to dig deep for the truth
whereas in real life its just there
we could make real life more like literature
or we could make literature more like real life

none of this concerns me for i prefer the music

my cats lips are black so he constantly looks slightly surprised

there are a man and a woman standing near me waiting for the bus speaking german and i can barely understand them

my life isnt interesting enough to blog about anymore and hasnt been for a while

change in altitude
change in perspective

im trying to sleep but all of my worst memories are haunting me at once

sometimes
i open my eyes
after having them closed
and everything is bright
my pupils are wide open
letting in all the light
but it is overwhelming
the light fills my vision
and i need to close them
and i remember the light
with my eyes closed

often that doesnt happen
usually we just dont notice
anything

my foot is dying
or at least 
giving rise to a lot of trouble

my gut is burning
with questions
like why is it burning in the first place

my breath is constricted
my nails ingrown
my hair matted
my heart-

my heart is beautiful
everything else is a little fucked though

we passed some horses
i thought of you

such a sad existence
that i should even worry
about a fucking pencil

middle of the night
my back is arching
stylized word choice
is the preferred
method
of expression
anxiety and depression

fuck everything else
im a curly haired man
and i have better things to do

half a cup of wine
singing in arabic
i bring the cup to my mouth
she starts singing the titanic song
i drink cheap white wine
she goes back to arabic

i cant feel my legs and dick

i am drunk and falling asleep
i am drunk and excited
i am drunk and falling awake
i am drunk and falling